I will always look at you
by lovelycaptainswan
Summary: CS LD AU: Princess Emma and Lieutenant Jones have been secretly in love for years, what happens when the princess has to find a husband and KingDavid offers Killian Jones the rank of a Captain. Will their love be stronger than the obstacles?


**A/N:** Secret Valentine gift for Maya (gracefulswansavior). :D

Thanks to Lim (well-that's much better) for editing it and so supportive during these days!

**Disclaimer:** I make no claim to these characters.

* * *

"You can't keep avoiding her, little brother" Liam said while fixing his uniform.

"Younger brother." Killian rolled his eyes. "And I don't know what you're talking about, I'm not avoiding her."

"Yes, you are." Liam turned to fix his gaze on his brother. "The entire court meeting I felt the glances she kept throwing at you and I've seen your miserable attempts to avoid them." He chuckled. "You both are so fun to watch."

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Liam." Killian sighed and avoided Liam's eyes.

The truth was that ever since Killian Jones met Princess Emma for the first time, five years ago, he had been secretly in love with her. He was mesmerized with the princess, not only because of her good looks and charms, but also because of her strong, passionate and brave personality.

He knew she was a tough lass, he knew that she would never give up on a challenge and that she was constantly looking for the next adventure. And just like that, he was ruined for every woman who wasn't the princess.

Deep down, Killian knew he didn't stand a chance to be with her. No one would ever approve the relationship between the crown princess and a young lieutenant.

"Brother." Liam interrupted his thoughts. "Remember we have been invited to Princess Emma's birthday ball… it's only two nights away, so make sure you make yourself presentable." He grinned.

"Right, the ball…"

_The ball where all those idiots would try to win Emma's heart._

"So…" Liam said, wanting to get back Killian's attention. "Are you really going to watch everything from afar, or would you make your way to the princess before one of the daft princes from another kingdom would?" Liam said as Killian's eyebrows shot up in surprise, making the elder Jones to chuckle.

Killian sighed and walked over to the window of the cabin. "You know, she'll never notice me right?"

"You can never know little brother, you can never know…." Liam said as he headed to the door of his cabin. "I'll see you on deck." He said before he left.

_She would never look at him._

_Not in the same way he looked at her, at least._

* * *

Emma loved and hated being a princess.

She loved seeing the different acts her parents took, all in the name of their kingdom and its well-being; she adored her kingdom and its people, how everyone respected their jobs and how much they liked serving the crown.

But she hated all her princess duties. She didn't like the big gowns, or the giant balls that her mother, Queen Snow, insisted on throwing.

The next one was in honor of her twenty first birthday, and more likely, the ball to find 'rebel Princess Emma' a suitor for her kingdom.

_It was bullshit… If her parents had true love, why couldn't she have her own?!_

"Penny for your thoughts." A male voice coming from the back interrupted her internal battle.

Emma turned to smile brightly at the man who had been her best friend since they were both kids. "Jefferson." She went to hug him. "What are you doing in here?"

Jefferson gave her a squeeze before he let go of the embrace "I wanted to be here when the princess finds her future husband." He smirked teasingly.

"You're not funny, just so you know." Emma rolled her eyes. "Now really, what are you doing in here? Weren't you supposed to come back next month?" She frowned.

"I heard the Jones brothers just anchored yesterday's morning." He smirked.

"And what's that got anything to do with your visit?" she eyed him curious.

"I had to see with my own eyes the yearning looks and doey-eyes everyone says you and a certain young lieutenant make for each other." Jefferson chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows. "I can't wait to see you in action."

"I don't yearn." Emma rolled her eyes "and I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then, it's a shame; I think you would make a fantastic couple." Jefferson smiled teasingly.

"You think so?..." Emma smiled curious.

"I thought you didn't yearn, your highness." He chuckled and Emma just sighed in reply.

* * *

The ball for her birthday was two nights away and she needed to run. She hated the balls and everything they involved, she needed to escape, and the sooner the better.

Emma was known for her tendency to run away from the castle, but she always came back. This time was no different, and while she was running something caught her attention, making her turn to her left.

"Princess?" the accented voice, that made her knees weak, suddenly said, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"I don't have time to do this." She tried to walk away, but the blue eyed stopped her.

"What are you doing in here?" Killian asked. "Aren't you supposed to be in the castle getting ready for the ball?"

"Lieutenant, I'm running from the guards… either you help me or get the hell out of my way." Emma stated the obvious and Killian rolled his eyes muttering something that sounded like 'Again' under his breath before he decided to follow her.

They had been running for a couple of minutes before Killian pulled her to hide behind a tree.

"Hold on Princess… I think we managed to lose the guards." he said when they observed around them.

Emma took a moment to look at Killian, thinking how come the man she had a crush on for the past five years was there with her?

* * *

It started to get dark, and Emma who kept walking throughout the evening with Killian right on her tracks, got tired from the silence between them, finally deciding to turn around and face him "Why are you following me?" She asked when they locked eyes.

"Excuse me, your highness?" He lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"Killian, would you stop with the formalities? We're not in the castle." Emma raised an eyebrow. "And I just asked, why are you following me?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

Killian's hand reached to scratch behind his ear. "I just thought the forest isn't a safe place for you to be alone."

She rolled her eyes. "That's bullshit. Anyway, if you're going to be out here with me the whole night, at least help me to find some wood-sticks, so we won't freeze to death."

"As you wish." He nodded and went to look for some sticks to make a campfire.

_Why was he there? _

She wondered what he was doing there with her, especially since he had always made sure to keep his distance.

_It didn't make any sense._

_Great. Now she was stuck with the man whom she had been in love with since the day they met, five years ago._

She remembered that day perfectly, the day that the Jones brothers came from King George kingdom asking for protection after a risky mission in another land in which King George tried to retrieve a lethal weapon against her parents.

Ever since the day her eyes landed on the young lieutenant, she was ruined for all other men.

"Are you alright Emma?" Killian's voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes, I just…" she turned to look at him, the sight of him carrying all the sticks leaving her speechless. "Nevermind." She finally muttered.

"Uhm… okay?" He nodded as he started to arrange the wood-sticks and she closed the distance between them, going down on her knees to help him.

Silence took over them again as they finished setting up the campfire and decided to sit on a log Killian had brought.

They were eating some fruits when he suddenly said. "I lied."

She turned to look at him, raising her brow in wonder. "What?"

"I lied… as of why I came with you." He fixed his gaze on the ground.

"What are you talking about?"

"Perhaps I just wanted to spend some time with you…" His voice trailed off when he slowly averted his gaze until it landed on the princess.

"Why would you want to spend some time with me when you don't even dare to talk or look at me whenever we are in the same room?" She asked half annoyed, half surprised.

"I've always looked at you Emma." he grinned nervously. "I will always look at you." He said and her face lifted in wonder.

She just looked at him, her mouth slightly open but no words were coming out and he waited patiently for her to say something.

"I have never noticed…" she finally whispered. "I thought… you didn't care." She furrowed her eyebrows.

"I'd go to the end of the world for you Emma" he stated as he looked directly into her eyes.

"What?" her eyes widened in realization.

"I'm sorry for what I'm going to say, but I fell in love with you, your highness, the moment my eyes landed for the first time on your green ones." he said as a red blush made its way to his cheeks and he averted his gaze.

"That's not possible." She suddenly said.

"I know." He sent her a mirthless smile. "It's really pathetic, a Navy Lieutenant fell for a Crown Princess… and I'm sorry for crossing the line Princess Emma… but I couldn't keep my secret to myself anymore… not when you will find a fortunate soul who will be able to cherish and love every part of you, the way you deserve to be loved."

"I cannot believe you." She shook her head. "You have been in love with me… all this time?"

"Aye..." he nodded.

"You have been in love with me, while I've been in love with you too?" She said as his wide eyes looked back at her.

"What?"

"What you heard, moron. I've been in love with you since the first day I met you in that court room… I've loved your blue eyes from that first moment… but you never noticed me…" She felt blush creeping up her neck.

"Emma… not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you." he admitted.

"But… you always avoided my eyes… you barely said a word during most of our meetings during the last couple of years…" Emma frowned.

"Because you were growing up and the time for you to get married was getting closer and closer… and I knew I'll have to watch it all, and it broke my heart…" he admitted on a sad smile.

She shook her head in disbelief. "You know my parents would never force me into an arranged marriage, right?"

"But still, they arrange a ball so a bunch of suitors from other kingdoms would have their chance to win your highness heart." He shrugged defeated.

"But still, it'll be my decision to make… I thought you knew that." She said as she stared at the night sky. "Killian… would you tell me about the stars, like you used to do years ago?" She asked as she went to lie on the ground.

"As you wish, milady." he looked at the stars and went to lie on the ground next to her, then he started explaining the constellations he knew by heart, the tales and myths sailors loved to tell during their voyages, and he answered every question she had.

"I've always been so jealous of you and Liam, you know." she said, feeling the weariness starting to take over her body.

"And why is that?" he looked at her when she scooted a little closer to him.

"You are both free… you can have all those adventures, and enjoy the gifts of nature." She gave him a sad and tired smile.

"One day, princess… one day." he sent her a genuine smile, her eyelids fluttering shut before her breath gradually evened out and she sank into deep sleep.

If in the morning they found themselves cuddling on the ground, none of them would say anything about it during the walk back to the castle…

* * *

The day of the ball arrived pretty fast, the castle was complete madness, and so were the docks. Numerous of ships arrived during that day with neighboring kingdoms royalty.

Killian hated to see those spoiled princes trying to impress Emma, and he couldn't help but feel jealousy creeping up his spine at the mere thought of someone dancing with her, trying to win her heart.

_You already won her heart, mate._

He liked to remind himself, since their confession two days ago, after he had decided to follow her.

Everything had been a roller coaster of emotions, because although they both made their feelings pretty obvious, none of them had said anything else, but Killian knew and felt it was his responsibility to make the next move, and he would do it tonight at the ball, in front of everyone, so his intentions for Emma would be clear to everyone, including her.

Liam insisted he should use his naval uniform but Killian denied to, explaining it was a royal ball and they had to blend in, Liam just chuckled and rolled his eyes.

It was a huge ball and different kingdoms were gathered together to celebrate the birthday of The Enchanted Forest princess.

Queen Ariel and King Eric were with their daughter Melody and their son Sebastian, he would later tease Liam about the yearning looks he saw him sending Melody's way from time to time.

Queen Ella and Prince Thomas were talking with Queen Aurora and King Philip, while the little Alexandra and Angelina were running with Roland, who was the son of Queen Regina and Robin Hood. Their elder son Henry was just rolling his eyes at them until he caught Killian's eyes and smiled at him.

_He was a good lad, always looking for the next adventure._

The Dark One arrived with his wife Belle and his son, Baelfire; ever since he had helped the war between Queen Snow and Queen Regina to end peacefully, the three of them made an agreement in which The Dark One will still control certain properties, but the kingdoms would be able to keep their sources of wealth.

Liam said that even Emma's best friend from Wonderland, Jefferson, and Queen Elsa, from Arendelle had arrived to the ball, in the expectation to see their lovely friend choosing a future husband.

_Killian just needed to pray the odds would fall in his favor._

Everyone seemed excited when Queen Snow and King David descended the staircase, and suddenly a vision in red appeared…

_She had to be a siren… a bloody temptation every sailor had thought about._

_Princess Emma was a vision in red._

Killian had lost track of time admiring her from afar, until a chuckle at his side interrupted him. "You really like her, don't you?" The blonde queen smiled.

"Your highness." He bowed in front of Queen Elsa who just rolled her eyes.

"Come on Jones, we got past the formalities a few years ago." Elsa smiled at him

"I'm sorry, but still I'm a gentleman." He smirked as he turned to look at Emma again, who was dancing with a lord, seemingly completely unfazed.

"You need to hurry up, Killian." Elsa made Killian to turn around, a frown creasing his face "She likes you, a lot. She told me about your little escape." She grinned. "Go on and dance with her."

"Elsa, can't you see I'm just a simple lieutenant? I don't stand a chance." he sounded defeated.

"If you don't hurry up, he'll be the next Prince of The Enchanted Forest." Emma pointed to a man who approached Emma, dressed in a green leather coat.

"Who's that?" Killian furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of the stranger dancing with Emma.

… _and why was he dancing with his princess?_

"Lord Walsh, from Oz." Elsa smirked at the sight of a jealous Killian. "Yesterday, he made it pretty clear to Queen Snow and King David what are his intentions for their daughter… you know how powerful it'll be the union with a land like Oz, right?"

Before Elsa could say anything else, Killian strolled to where Emma and Walsh were dancing.

_No bloody monkey would take his princess._

_Nope._

"Uhm, excuse me your highness." Killian took a bow in front of Emma, whose eyes widened comically at the sight of him. "Will you dance with me?" He grinned charmingly.

"Oh…" Emma looked at Walsh and then back at Killian. "Of course Lieutenant." She sent Walsh an apologetic smile before she turned to Killian.

"I heard someone wanted to steal the heart of a princess." He said as he took her hand in his. "I couldn't let that happen." He smiled at her with confidence, and she just smiled back when they started dancing.

The whole night was pure bliss, as they danced more than what was appropriate, not that either of them regretted it.

But apparently Queen Snow and King David took notice of their stolen glances whenever they weren't dancing, and their bright smiles once they were back in each other's arms.

That was why when King David asked Killian to go for a walk with him, he knew his feelings had been exposed.

… or at least that was what he thought.

Once they had set up a campfire, David suddenly said. "Killian, I've seen you grow into a really strong and brave man; and I need you to know, that I will always feel respect for you and your brother, you both saved our kingdom all those years ago when you rebelled against King George, and for that Snow and I will be forever thankful." He smiled at Killian.

"I… don't know what to say, your highness." Killian smiled nervously.

"I wanted you to join me here because I have an offer for you." David smiled proudly. "What if I promoted you to a naval captain?"

"Wow…" Killian said astonished. "That's… wow." He grinned from ear to ear.

"But…" David interrupted Killian's sudden happiness. "For that, you must have to leave for three years to the kingdom of Oz." David said, throwing a wooden stick into the fire.

Killian immediately knew what his answer would be. "I'm sorry, your highness, but I won't do it."

"What? … Why?" David furrowed his brows in confusion. "I thought it was everything you always wanted to be."

"But my desires have changed with time… and I can't leave The Enchanted Forest, for that long." Killian said convinced.

"Does your choice have anything to do with my daughter?" David asked.

"With all due respect, King David, whatever happens with Princess Emma and me, it's much up to her than me…" Killian blushed embarrassed for exposing his feelings in front of Emma's father.

David studied Killian and finally said "That's okay with me, then."

They kept talking about other matters such as maritime routes, or some fixes that the kingdom ships needed, but never mentioned the thing between Emma and Killian again.

* * *

When Emma heard her father say that Killian had rejected the Captain title, she felt furious. She eavesdropped unintentionally when her father explained to Queen Snow how he had rejected a mission and the Captain title.

_He would hear her._

When she arrived at the Jewel, he was nowhere to be found, until a sailor recognized the princess in her riding outfit.

"Princess?" Liam's voice said behind her.

"Captain Jones." She bowed. "Is the Lieutenant in here? I need to talk to him."

"I'm afraid he isn't here." Liam burrowed his eyebrows. "Is there something I can help you with?" He smiled at her.

"Why Killian didn't accept the Captain title?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Don't you know, Princess?" Liam's eyes widened comically. "If he accepted the Captain title, he would've had to leave the Enchanted Forest for three years… and he couldn't do it." He smiled knowingly.

"What are you talking about? … He has to accept it, it is his best chance!" Emma said mad.

"Maybe his best chance is somewhere else, or may I say, with a lot of respect, with someone else." Liam smiled teasingly and Emma finally understood.

As realization hit her, she excused herself and went to their special spot, the one where they used to go when they just met and were great friends, thinking that was where she'd find him…

Once she arrived at the top of the hill, she jumped down from her horse and walked to the man sitting on the log looking at the water.

"You traded your ship for me?" Emma's soft voice came from behind him.

Killian turned to look at her. "Aye." He nodded.

"You're an idiot Jones…" she muttered as she sat by his side. "But might as well be my idiot." She smiled as he fixed his gaze on her.

Facing each other, his hand reached to her cheek as she looked at him with loving eyes…

_She loved him._

_He loved her._

And that was why their lips were pulled like magnets, and every feeling inside of them exploded… The kiss wasn't like anything she had expected, it was better, way better, everything with Killian Jones was always better.

They kept kissing and cuddling in their special spot at the top of the hill, where they promised to love each other every day for the rest of their lives…

When Killian insisted he should ask her parents for her hand in marriage, King David and Queen Snow joked it was about time one of them made a move.

The wedding took place one year later, and the twins Liam and Leia were born by their second anniversary…

Killian never regretted his decision…

After all, he had Emma, his one true love, and a family with whom he lived happily ever after.

* * *

**Happy Valentine's Day! :D**


End file.
